It has been so hard over the past few days. For those of you who I've told, seen the facebook status' and have talked to me on AIM... thank you. It's been hell over the past few weeks but lately it came to the point where I needed to draw the line. Eventually everything that I felt had to be pushed aside for various reasons. It's been so difficult but I'm trying my best to push through. I can't let this situation bring me down anymore. Although it has made me happy for the period of a few days, I've come to realize that everything was a waste of time. I can only pray the best and that we'll be friends. I want to be bitter and hostile, but that's not I want to reflect. Becoming a friend, I'll need to be consistent and I'll need to put these childish games behind me. It's hard, especially when it involves emotions but unless I take a stand this hell would become months if not.. years. All in time, if something is meant to happen I'll let God orchestrate it. My hands are far too failure prone to face another situation like this again. 

1 Comment

1. jennifer on April 25, 2009 at 5:55 PM

   Okay, so I'm not sure if this is going to sound encouraging, but it is truth, and "there is more beauty in the truth, even if it is a dreadful beauty."
   
   So, I don't know if you'll ever be fully over him. And it won't be easy. You will, however, reach that point where you won't want him anymore, won't be bitter, will be absolutely FINE with being just friends. BUT, as females, once we place our hope in him, we never fully let go of that hope. And you'll get caught up in the feelings every once in a while, but they will fleet away again.
   
   but know i've been there too. you'll be able to be friends. you'll be able to stop being bitter (that in itself feels like a miracle) and you'll learn to love. it'll take time. and prayer.
   <3
   
   know that i'm praying.
   
   and rejoice in the pain, for that's what makes us grow.