I plan to travel in the summer and start university in the second semester.

but.. being in such a small bubble I feel so intimidated.

I spent an hour last night looking at the site at all the courses to get a degree, the grades you need and the huge atmosphere. I have a fear of failing.. I feel terrified at the thought of going to school. 40 courses in 4 years.. to get a degree. That's sleepless nights, and studious days that I feel I will not be able to handle. Then there's the option of breaking it up... the taking 8 years to do the course. I simply just want in and then out. 4 years max... I can't take more than that. As of right now I am extremely scared.. and I feel so small and naive compared the party-hard lifestyles of college and university. I'm awkward, I won't fit in.

Is this because people were scared that I was unable to fight for myself?

So they keep me home schooled and in a small church school where I can be easily controlled and monitored?I can't be kept like this all the time...

... out of fear they kept in that small little world and now next year I'll have to pay the consequences. 

I have a strong conscious and I know what I want. 

I am strong and I can stand for myself. 

Give me the chance.

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