So, here we are... all over again. 

May 30th: Entre 9, Entre 10, Maybe Entre 11? or French Final.

May 31st: Entre 11 + Entre 12

June 1st: Comb/Probability Assignment, Geo Test 2 + 4 

June 2nd: Probabilty Test, Sequence Test

June 3rd: Trig Function Test, Entre 12/13

June 4th: Trig Equation Test, Entre 13

June 5th: Log Test, Geo Oil Assignment 

June 5th - 11th Business Plan

June 6th: Find lost marketing assignments 

June 7th - 11th: Double Check for ALL ASSIGNMENTS

THEN, I'M DONE. OH HAI GRADUATION. 

Also, I get to sing 'Amazing Because It Is' by The Almost. I even have a mini choir to sing on the chorus', I'm so stoked. 

Actually, why I've been odd over the past few days revolves around this situation. In an effort to create a scrapbook for him, throw a goodbye party and to spend time with him... it's earned me a big ole' target on my back. Everyone from his siblings to the teachers have been in a constant attack against me. I have no idea why, but lately it seems that all my work accomplished in Lent has been thrown out the window. Initially, I was going to skip tomorrow, but I found out tonight that tomorrow is his last day. So, I'm forcing myself to go. There's a huge story that will probably continue tomorrow which has led me to deactivate Facebook and get off AIM. I know that I over exaggerate, but how am I in the wrong for wanting to create memories for a friend? I understand that it is a lot of emotion baggage right now and it's very difficult on everyone. I mean, doesn't everyone who moves have a goodbye party? I got questioned for my motives and people asked me why I am putting so much effort in. I'm simply trying to stay positive in this situation. Of course I'll miss him, he's like a little brother to me. But, I don't want to cry and reminisce about the past, only to scare and frighten him. I want him to leave knowing that God has a plan for him. Success in the future and a path that will lead him into the Glory of God. We will miss him, and we will cry. However, this is a beginning of a beautiful chapter in a life. A chapter of opportunities, rebirth, faith and love. 

I say too much without thinking. Also, I just reactivated my facebook. I SUCK AT SELF DISCIPLINE. 

Also, I'm giving up AIM for 3 weeks.

Today is day 21, let's see how I do.

P.S., I wanted to blog about something but it's 8 in the morning and I kind of have to eat/shower/get ready for hell. *cough* I mean school. 

- Finish two more geo assignments and then all the tests. 

- finish two calculus assignments and then tests. D:

- study for english government exam

- business plan for entre

- and a marketing assignment that i lost

The plan is that, Geo will be finished by Friday. Monday the latest for tests. Then, next week is pretty much devoted to calculus. Hopefully next week the assignments will be done and maybe 2 tests? Then that just leaves 5? OH MY GOODNESS. Then, after it's pretty much, wait. Okay, this is my OCD kicking in. 

May 20th - Geo Powerpoint Project 

May 21st - Geo Powerpoint + Final Assignment

May 22nd - Unit 2 Test and Unit 4 Test.

May 25th - Unit 5 Test, Combintaroiccsjshfsjhd Assignment and Probability Assignment

May 26th - Sequence Calculus Test, Maybe Entre?

May 27th - Entre + Study for Logarithm exam?

May 28th - Entre + Study even more?

May 29th - Log exam

June 1st - Trig Functions Study + Entre

June 2nd - Trig Function Test + Entre

June 3rd - Trig Equation study + Entre

June 4th - Trig Equation Test + Entre

June 5th - Entre

June 8th - Cobomajhsdajshd + Probability Study + Entre

June 9th - Test + Entre

June 10th - Study for Final, + Entre

June 11th - Final check up on all assignments

June 12 - Calculus Final aka Last day of school. 

I think that sounds about right. 

OMG. JUST KILL ME NOW. 

I found out last night and to my surprise, I was laughing and smiling. Laughter is a healing medicine, it seems that everything that happened before meant nothing. By the grace of God, I'm moving on with my head up and with a striking confidence. It seems that everything that happened, is apart of past. There's nothing I can change, but I can learn and guard my heart. You know, if he's happy I should be happy for him. I mean, that's what friends do, right? Either way, the mercy of a creative master and director has orchestrated something magnificent. It turns out for the best, now I have one less thing to think about. He's gone and I can move on. 

Last night, I prayed out to God for forgiveness and wisdom regarding relationships. I need to be a better person, God needs to shape me into a woman who radiates his love. I'm so sick of being  told that I'm 'undateable'. There's still so much that needs to be done in me. My attitude to how I present myself, God has a lot of work to do in me. I just pray that I'll be able to grow into a new person who has a change of heart. I want to be the girl that other guys are jealous of. I want them to see me for my heart and who I am. 

I don't want to like him as of right now, cause I don't know where he stands. 

I don't know if they are official.

I don't even know what I want.

There's a part of me that still wants him, yet there's another saying wait.. 

and another telling me to simply get over it.

Everything was fine, until a week ago.

I was well on my way, to moving on. 

I want to be friends, but I want to know if we could be more. 

That's what bothers me, the fact that I'll have to wait around. 

Also, I REALLY need to stop blogging about him. 

- Reports came in, I made honours.

- My uncle passed away last Sunday

- My mom is in Fiji until the 16th

- I love baking blueberry muffins

That is all.