I found out last night and to my surprise, I was laughing and smiling. Laughter is a healing medicine, it seems that everything that happened before meant nothing. By the grace of God, I'm moving on with my head up and with a striking confidence. It seems that everything that happened, is apart of past. There's nothing I can change, but I can learn and guard my heart. You know, if he's happy I should be happy for him. I mean, that's what friends do, right? Either way, the mercy of a creative master and director has orchestrated something magnificent. It turns out for the best, now I have one less thing to think about. He's gone and I can move on.
Last night, I prayed out to God for forgiveness and wisdom regarding relationships. I need to be a better person, God needs to shape me into a woman who radiates his love. I'm so sick of being told that I'm 'undateable'. There's still so much that needs to be done in me. My attitude to how I present myself, God has a lot of work to do in me. I just pray that I'll be able to grow into a new person who has a change of heart. I want to be the girl that other guys are jealous of. I want them to see me for my heart and who I am.
I thank God for the fact that you seem to have learned this same lesson in fraction of the time it took me. <3
And if you relapse, don't worry, most people do. Just keep striving after Him and not him.