Weather

It's complex, revolting, enjoyable and quirky. Today we've had rain, snow, sunshine, hail, heavy winds... what's next brimstone and raging fire? The weather is driving me insane, My photo shoot plans have to move because the weather decides to be spontaneous. It's ridiculous.

Also;; I have a new friend! She the wife of one of the guys from church. She's from Ghana. She's actually the cousin of a guy who is literally my brother. There's a complex issue within the family with the family seeing each other and what not. She doesn't have anyone up here for a friend. Every girl needs a girlfriend to talk to. So I've invited her to go out for breakfast in the morning. Some good, chatting time. I'll be a friend; a friend that listens more than they speak. For anyone that knows me, it is fairly difficult to get me to shut up. I like to talk, hence my love for the art of conversation. :] I'm hoping to make a good friendship, a valuable one. She has a heart after God, it's great. She's from Africa, what can I say? Seriously, you do not know worship until you go to a black church. The worship moves right through you and gives you such a exhilarating feeling. It's radioactive and it will stay on you for days. Besides the point, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It's such a great restaurant, if any of you [my lovelies] come to Vancouver, we're going there. It's yum, haha.

Also;; first lyrics that I will ever post. SHHHH.

Are you ready?
Ready to drop it all at the line?
Ready for a new start?
We're in it for the long run.
You're not running this alone.

It's just the ending. Comments? I might take it off in the morning or something. I can't believe I just put those up. AHAHA. I MADE IT SO TINY.

OKAY GOOD NIGHT. :]

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

ignore this;; schedule

I CAN'T FIND MY SCHEDULE.

SO I HAVE TO WRITE THIS SOMEWHERE.

Tuesday;; Photoshoot w/ Gurpreet [11am - 2pm]

(leave phone on, to see if she's out of the hospital)

Wednesday;; Photoshoot w/ Ksenia [11am - 1pm]

Thursday;; Photoshoot w/ Keesha and daughters [11:30? - 2]

Friday;; Edits & birthday party for Jodi [6pm] stay over at Ashleigh's? (clarify!)

Saturday;; Mom + I, drive down to the States.

Sunday;; come back.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Mothers

Mothers are peculiar creatures. They nurture, feed, teach and discipline. They seem to never run out of energy, they constantly strive for a better life for their children. Also, mothers seem very 'old school.' They think the clothes we enjoy are off-spun and bizarre, our music is too loud or just gibberish and our favourite shows are nonsense. That's a mom's point of view on many things, however my mother surprised me today. I finally got the courage to show my mom some of my lyrics. To my surprise, she was actually speechless. Her speechless soon turned into how amazed she was. I was in awe of how she reacted to be really honest. She loved them, SHE REALLY LOVED THEM. I preceded to play her some music I came up with yesterday; She loved it too. I'm flabbergasted. We also went out for lunch, so I decided to play her some of my favourite bands. I played her A Day To Remember, she loves Jeremy's voice. Even more shocking, she actually understood his growls. Is this my mother? Goes to show you to never underestimate a mom. They will surprise us. Show them something new and odd, and you'll be surprised.

Also. I ate too much candy yesterday. I threw up. I haven't eaten for 24 hours. Well, we had lunch and that was the 24 hour mark. I feel like I am going to die.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Spring Break

Spring break is officially here. I'm more than excited to have the week off. To make things even better, because I am ahead in my subjects I get an extra week. My online school gives two weeks, my 'school' gives one. This extra week will help me rest my knee as well as plan some photo shoots. I'm only on day one and have never experienced such boredom. I kind of cleaned my room, we will leave it at that. I wrote 5 songs yesterday, they are typed and added. I have 31 songs now, hopefully once I start to piece the music and lyrics together I'll post something. :] My lyrics aren't great or significant but they are *insert word here.* I'm too afraid to actually post my lyrics, because I don't want to be flamed, ridiculed or embarrassed. I need to get over this if I want to have a band, haha.

I also have a few goals for this break. Considering that I didn't do it for either Summer '08 or Christmas, FINISH MUSIC THEORY. My book is right beside me, so I've decided to finally start and finish it. Also, I want to write 'better' blogs. Something that shows, growth, understanding and emotion. I'm a little sick of my little rambles, but I have no one else to share it too. So from now on, the goal to post my ramble but also something that has been in my heart.

I'm too selfish, I really need to fix this. I feel that God has given me significant purpose, but my selfish attitude stifles were God can take me. He can move my spirit, but my flesh is hindering it.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

No, Means No!

After being told by my doctor that I may not do any physical activity, I made a huge mistake. More so on my teachers part, rather than mine. During soccer we have two games going on; One game has two teams actually playing soccer game and then the other two teams trying to keep the ball in the court. While on the outside keeping it in, the ball went flying by three feet away. I drove for it, missed but also happened to land on my right knee. I have pains shooting up my leg and it's so painful. The teacher said I would be able to do it, I was but I caused more damage. Barely 5 minutes after the game, I call my dad to pick me up. I chickened out of my x-ray the past two days but I'm scheduled tomorrow. I think I screwed my knee up more, I can barely make it down the stairs.

Also, I need to blog about my university updates. Let's just say, Capilano University was to be my University. Now, my friend wants to go. I want her to leave me alone there. I want new friends and a new social life. Go to a different school, don't go to mine! There's more to this, I'll blog it later in the week. Hopefully she doesn't see this. :/

Sorry, this is a pointless blog. haha.

Read More 3 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Vote For My Friend!

Share Your Passion

Sponsored by Visit Physicians Formula

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

SALSA CHEESE CHICKENNNNN

I finally posting this darn thing. haha.

This is enough for 2 people.
Base your servings as 2 chicken breasts per person.

INGREDIENTS:

4 chicken breasts (leave the bone in)

3 garlic cloves

1 1/2 cups of salsa (of your choice)

1 cup of grated cheddar cheese

pinch of garlic powder.

1 quarter of a small onion finely chopped OR a few green onions

Uncle Ben's Spanish Rice

Olive oil

INSTRUCTIONS:

Preheat your oven to 375°F

First, start off in a pan with a little olive oil and your sliced garlic cloves. Toss your chicken in, skin side down first. Pinch some garlic powder and salt on chicken. REMEMBER YOU AREN'T COOKING THE CHICKEN YET. THIS IS FOR ONLY BROWNING. Flip the chicken over, pinch some powder and salt, wait till both sides are golden brown.

Take your chicken out, and place it into a small baking dish. The chicken should not over lap, but it should fit perfectly. Get your oil and garlic from the pan and mix it with your 1 1/2 cups of salsa. Sprinkle about a handful of cheese into your salsa mix and pour it onto the chicken. Making sure the mixture covers the chicken on top and on the side, if not... just had some more salsa. With the last of your cheese sprinkle it on the top of your chicken.

Use foil to cover your baking dish and put it into the oven (375°F) for 30 - 45 minutes. While your chicken is baking, use some oil to sweat some onions. Then in the same pot had and follow the directions of the Spanish Rice. If you have some green onions just had it to your rice.

After all is done, plate and enjoy!

Hope those of you who try this, i hope you like it. :]

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

The Doctor

Two and a half months of torturing knee pain, I finally go for a visit to the doctor. After a three-minute exam of pressuring my knee into HELL, we arrived at what I have. I have torn ligaments throughout my knee. He also suspected that I may have torn cartilage as well. ON TOP OF THAT, I had to take a x-ray, but we got there and they turned us away. So, we're booked for Wednesday the 11th. OH, THAT'S NOT ALL. Doctor's order: No physical activity for 3 weeks. This is what hurts the most as we're playing soccer for our team sports, and on top of that we have a huge skipping rope competition tomorrow. I'm not even allowed to brisk walk. I kept asking him what I could do, but he continuously said 'You don't do anything!' So, for the next three weeks I am allowed to be a lazy sloth. Most would be excited about this, but I'm not. Because I ignored the pain or over two months, if I continue anything physical that I may have to get surgery and that means no sports ever again. Also, my other knee is hurting now. :[

Oh well.

Pray for me?

Also, some pictures from a photoshoot from last Saturday. Enjoy!

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Anxiously Awaiting

I'm anxiously awaiting for the approval of my shirts.

They look different, as the original file has been edited like crazy.

These were designed on the first try, so the real design looks different.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Happy Birthday, Jennifer!

Jennifer,

I know you aren't on Facebook, so I thought I'd dedicate a blog post to you.

We met in 2004 on the RKMB, it's been 5 years?! Long time. haha.

Anyways, you are probably one of the most amazing people that I have ever talked to. Your life is a constant growing testimony. I admire how much you are willing to let God move in your life, which is so rare for someone of our age. You're humble to see that you have faults and you are willing to let God move through you. It's a sacrifice that is so pure and passionate. You're such a great friend, you've listened to my problems when no one else would. You understand how amazing Relient K, which just makes you even cooler. You're a blessing to my life and to those around you. I hope your 18th birthday is absolutely amazing, and that may God will continue to bless and move in your life as you get older. I hope that we can remain friends even when we head off into University. HOPEFULLY I CAN VISIT YOU IN THE SUMMER. AND WE'LL SEE BRYCE AVARY.

Happy birthday, love!

iloveyou<3

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Vinyl

I want to start collecting.

They are simple, orchestrated musical gifts.

They inspired the CD, MP3 and much more.

They hold a part of musical history that is vital for progression and ideas.

They are round, dull and black; yet their purpose is far greater than their appearance.

They hold mystery, purpose and inspiration.

I want to be vinyl.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

...

I don't know what to do anymore. The more I try to become a better person, the more I'm shot down. I try to remain stable in my moods, remaining calm in tense situations. I'm trying not to be jealous, I'm trying to accept and move on. Why is that when I make an attempt, it fails before my eyes. I'm so sick of everything now. There's no point to continue this struggle when I'm not benefiting.

I turn to those around me, only to be alienated. I'm sick of being lied to, tired of being convinced that there is good in everyone. There isn't any good in the world anymore. I've lost my hope for humanity. I've lost respect for everyone in my life. Everyone has their own agenda, and they are willing to screw you over to get what they want. Tell me one thing, do another seems to be the new motto. It's a shame that people are willing to put their selfish wants before those around them. Maybe I'm the one with the attitude, maybe I'm not. Either way, I am effing tired of this game. I seriously want to give up with everything.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Lent

I did Lent a few years ago as Jennifer brought it up and I thought it was a great idea.

I did it, I think about 2-3 years ago. It was an amazing decision, those forty days helped define who I am today. They changed my character, outlook and appreciation tremendously. God is good. I saw and recognized how big of an impact it had on me, and I have decided to do it again.

For this year, I will not reveal what my Lent sacrifice is. However, it is not a mere sacrifice that I will give up for 40 days then pick up again. This is my attempt for a permanent sacrifice. Sacrifice for something that has made me happy for some time, but it sickens me to my stomach. I need to rid it from my life because damage is caused. My heart, mind and soul have already taken a hit because of it. I draw the line and refuse the power of it to take and destroy who God created me to be. It ends tonight and a rebirth of character will emerge from these forty days. It will not be easy, it will test me beyond my expectation. With strength, prayer and dedication I will persevere.

I'm not Catholic, I just thought I'd make it clear. I am a Christian striving for passion, purity and purpose; all in the name of Jesus Christ. Sacrifice is obedience; it is also a test of character.

I ask for prayer during these forty days. Every prayer will mean a lot to me, and I greatly appreciated everyone who has been praying for me. I love you all. :D

I will also be updating how it is going, just so I can look back and see progress. Also, for all my lovely blog readers to see how God has been moving in my life while I pursue Lent.

Read More 2 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Wow

I haven't blogged in a long time.

Just thought I'd throw that in there.

Lately, My days of been filled with chaos, stress, frustration, writing and music.

I've written about 15 songs in the past 2 weeks.

God is good, and he's putting songs into my heart.

I'll post them once I feel more confident.

ALSO. SALSA-CHEESE BAKED CHICKEN RECIPE COMING SOON.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Just a Week

There's only a week left in the scholarship competition.

Please share the link and get me votes!

i'll love you foreverrr.

Seeing Things in Black and White
Brickfish
Vote | Share | Details

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Treasure

A woman's heart should be so hidden in God, that a man has to seek Him to find her.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Judgement

I came across a comment today that really sparked something inside me. I won't post the actual comment. However, I will describe it lightly. It talked about how ‘they’ believe in Christ, but they think that they are never judged. Thus, leading them into a life of partying, cussing and irresponsibility. I'm not judging at all, I'm just stating the facts. Then they go around to say that ‘he’ will never judge them. I'm pretty sure God is insulted by the fact that they put his name in quotes. They also go on to say that they want to show people that it's okay to live a free lifestyle, because God doesn't judge. That's their message to the world. It’s pathetic how people can believe such egotistical, self-seeking things. Of course God will judge, in fact he is the only one that can and will judge; yet people refuse to admit that. They believe that Christianity is a one-way deal where you can accept salvation and simply forget it, without making any effort into becoming a better person. The world breaks my heart, it breaks my heart even more for them to know salvation only to reject it and then exploit the Lord's name in vain.

God save us.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

New Semester

I started the new semester this week. Geography I aced. :] I got 100%, even though I had no idea what I was talking about. Entrepreneurship was definitely interesting. I dropped French 11 for Accounting. In math, that tends me to be my strongest point. CALCULUS MAKES SENSE! This is unbelievable to me, I understand the concepts and I'm getting everything right. God is good.

Also, an update in the previous math situation.

I passed. :]

Report Card:

History: A

English: B+

French: A+

Math: C-.

I thank God, that I didn't fail. He knew my heart, and gave me the 2.8 percent I ended to get me to a passing grade.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Gold

My soul has never had this feeling.
It feels like gold.

Every time I think about seeing him listed in a relationship; a weird joy erupts form within. A smile appears on my face. I feel like laughing, it's happy laugher. Laugher that releases the burden. This burden caused too much confusion, denial, pain and tears. Good riddance.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Finally: Part Deux

First off, I'll start off about the boy.

I mentioned in earlier blogs that I was over him. However, that was not true. Today it has officially ended. I'm happier than ever to get over a guy.

A few years ago, we had a 'Godly relationship' talk with our teachers at my school. My teacher when she was 16, had in mind what we wanted in a boy. From his body build, to his hair and his voice. She wanted someone who was medium suit to suit her, dark hair to contrast her blonde, and an accent. Well, that's exactly what she got. By the way, this wasn't based on looks, but it's an example of showing how specific God is. She has her perfect boy, and she's happy. Now, involving my scenario I have my boy set in my mind. I know what qualities that I need in him, so he is my better half. I want a boy with the most gorgeous, blue/green eyes anyone has seen. Slim to fit me, taller cause I'm just really petite, hair to side ( i like emo hair, get over it) and okay.. I love cute boys with nose rings. I KNOW IT'S WEIRD, BUT I THINK IT'S HOT.

This boy, had nothing of those. Also, he didn't have the qualities I wanted in a boy. Yet, it seemed like I was forcing myself into something that I knew was a waste of my time. He led a lifestyle, that I don't want. I have a career I want, and when I pictured myself with him... He was hindering it. He swore like a sailor, drank till the end of tomorrow and smoked his cares away. I knew this, yet I refused to use to get over him. I think because I love the feeling on liking someone, I forced myself into it. Ladies, it's dangerous... please don't do it.

Today, I finally saw he was in a relationship. I smiled, thanked God and simply closed the page. Before, I would cry and flip out. Yet, this was my sign from God saying that I could do better; so much better, because I deserve better. This is the second time it has happened, and it started when I started to pray more. I told God to give me the right heart and wisdom to see and know. Since then, I can tell immediately and what was oblivious is now my natural instinct. God is good, and my boy is on his way. I know this is a prayer that was answered perfectly.

Congrats to him, I'm happy for you. I wish you all the best.

So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything is for you
My heart is open
And will end
So take it

So much feeling of my soul

It's singing

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Finally

I just looked at my last blog. Nothing came out as I wanted it too.

I've been writing lyrics for the past few days, and I feel a release now.

I had words stored up in me, all week.

I've been attempting to blog them but they never came out.

Failure is my biggest fear.

God needed me to confront that, for me to grow.

I've met my fear face-to-face, and I'm no longer afraid.

oh. superbowl.

GO CARDINALS!

Read More 2 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Oh Inconsistent Me, Crying Out For Consistency

I got the horrifying results to my math final.

35%, and it brought down my total grade to a %40-something.

My heart broke to see the number, then it hit me.

I could fail and screw graduation.

I've always been honor roll, what's wrong with me this year?

40? I GET 80% ALL THE TIME.

There is more to me than my music, grades, designs and photography.

They don't define who I am.

I need to stop trying to control everything myself.

I need to stop with 2387438 goals, and just stick to what is important.

I need consistency, with those around me, my work, my faith and my mind.

I've crumbled, and I need to be mended.

For the first time, I crawled underneath my sheets, put 'when i go down' and 'let it all out' by relient k and just cried out to God. I cried for 20 minutes, real tears that left me breathless. Matt Thiessen has the the perfect song. Through all my hardest moments, these have brought me to humble ground. I am human, I screw up and I have the nature to reject that. I can't do that, God needs to break me in order for the 'new' me to be born. I am giving myself to him, in my best efforts, completely.

I NEED YOU, GOD.

YOU ARE MY CONSISTENCY.

I'M CRYING OUT, OH GOD.

PLEASE, HEAR MY PLEA.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

20 Facts

Here are the rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 20 random things, facts, habits or goals about you.

1) I tend to be very blunt when I met new people, I think it earns me respect....?

2) I don't like people in my room, it's mine and only for me. Go hang out in the living room.

3) I have 'shirley temple' ringlets, as my natural hair and I hate it.

4) I lose respect for people, easily. Once I see them in a new light, it will never change.

5) I think no one really likes me, and they only talk to me out of pity.

6) My heart breaks for old people. Just seeing them, and how helpless they are... my heart goes out to them so bad.

7) I've already picked names for my kids. I only want two, one boy and one girl.

8) I tend to realize if a guy is worth my time in about four days. So far, none of them have been worth my time.

9) I don't care what anyone says about it, I ~~like~~ LOVE boys with 'emo' hair.. you know, with bangs to the side. *teenie <33333*

10) One of my biggest pet peeves is people eat with their mouths open and loud, open gum chewing. ugh.

11) The smell of coffee gives me a headache.

12) My weight fluctuates from 85 pounds to 100 pounds.

13) I have a thing for Ohio bands. I don't know why, but I do... since 2002.

14) I only like my grades if they are above 90%.

15) My favourite food ever is... 6 inch: cold cut combo on parmesan from subway. with extra mayo and jalapenos and everything on it except tomatoes. AND MY 32 OUNCE DRINK OF STRAWBERRY FRUITOPIA. <3

16) I hate when people spell my name wrong.

17) Regardless if they are sellouts, Paramore has (in my opinion) one of the best female vocalists ever.

18) Grapefruit soda, is amazing.

19) I don't like my church, because of how Christianity is shoved down your throat. I like my school Bible sessions on Wednesday, I learn so much more.

20) I have more online friends that I can have real, deep conversations with. I wish I had that with the people I physically know.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Ouch x 384732

Friday night I went to church with my mom.

We were up in a group praying and all of a sudden, I got a massive stabbing pain in my knee.

I sat down and the pastor, my teacher and friend prayed for me.

After that, I have to limp to get anywhere.

I have bruises all over, both legs.

My right knee is swollen and slightly purple.

My muscles are sore and constantly tired so I can't even put my knee joint perfectly straight.

I tried and my knee quivers and I end up losing my balance and falling over. (it's not funny.)

So for now, I have to put all my weight on my left hip, but!

November (07), I fell at work and I managed to give my left hip a pinched nerve.

I never got it fixed because of school, work and church.

But now, it's just making matters worse.

And this week is finals. AH.

Prayer would be appreciated.

i'd be so happy. :]]]]]

I won't be able to play hockey for the next week.

And if I don't play.. (I'm captain), my team will definitely lose.

I haven't done any work this weekend because I can't even find a place to 'relax'.

Sleeping hurts, walking, standing and even sitting.

ARGH.

but yes, pray. it would definitely mean a lot.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Destroy My Pride

Hey what you got you don't know
Anything that I'm gonna say right now
Cause I'm not so sure why I'm here and why I wanna
Keep on hanging 'round right now
Not that I do it now or any day
Sometimes I just get burned out
About lots of things and well just doubt

So tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cause I'm confused and do I break into two
So tell me how about you

Hey what you got something bad and I want it
Even though I know its wrong
But I won't be blessed cause I know this so I can't have that
So I can show I gotta be strong
Man I don't wanna be able to breathe
Be able to see what's become
of the wars of this world
and the wars from my tongue

So tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cuz I'm confused and I bruise yes I do so tell me how about you
So please just tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Come on baby and race me and maybe we'll just find ourselves

I wanna be I wanna be like that mountain
I wanna stand taller and bigger than rest
See I just wanna be it a guy who wins all the time
I wanna be a big star a king and rule my own life
And God I know that it's wrong
So please just make my heart right
Inside and destroy my pride

So you can tell me something good you got it
Why I am so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cause I'm confused and I bruise yes I do so tell me how about you
So please just tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Come on baby and race me and maybe we'll just find ourselves

Hey what you got something bad and I want it
Even though I know its wrong

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

dumb myspace.

You comment several people, it's okay if they take a few days to reply.

But it's a different thing when they reply to people right before and after you... and they completely disregard your comment.

I need to delete people.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Stop Running

I believe everyone comes to the point in their life where they start to really accept.

Not to accept the fact that not everyone is nice, but the fact that my life is a story book written by God.

There's a beginning, setting, climax, plot and ending. He's the author of my life, directing the steps of my feet according to where He wants me to go.

I'm starting to stop the fear that's scaring me away from university. There's no need to be afraid, He's on my side.. He's my strength and my help in trouble. There's nothing more you could ask for.

I'm started to accept the fact that I am single and very content with that. God will send me my husband/boyfriend when we are both ready. I'm not ready for marriage now, he probably isn't either. When our time is right and when our hearts are ready... God will put us together. God is the author of my love story.

MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC. AH. My love and my time consumer. My heart is in it and when it's ready, God will open the doors, the right connections and whatever I need. I'm working hard now, I'm learning to not cry when I get off pitch in a song. I simply smile, go and work with my coach. Improve, practice and repeat. The right band will come along, then, again, their hearts are ready.. just as mine.

Photography. My pictures suckkkkk. Hahahahahaha. I got criticized by a friend (who calls themselves a pro, but takes pictures like a six year old) because I've only been taking pictures for two years. It's something I like to do, get over it. No one really supports me, but I don't need them. All I need is my God opening my eyes to his creation, and a charged camera. Again, the direction and plot of this chapter will be continued when my heart is ready.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Blurbbbb

This is my final week for my favourite class, History 12.

It's also my last essay, ever and I'm just really sad yet excited about it.

I managed to get all my library resources checked out, noted, sourced and typed.

All I have left is simply five websites and then tomorrow I put it together.

The internet has been 'off' since Monday, so we have no internet at school.

Even the library which has wireless, isn't working.

But, it works out.. I manage to get a heck of a load done. :]

Also, I gave up on the boy.. why?

1) I need someone far more attractive. (Yes, I'm shallow.)

2) His faith was barely at 1/100 of mine.

I had a list, but I forgot. Forgive me.

I had something in my mind, earlier which was going to be my blog topic.

But, I've forgotten; so if it comes back I'll write another blog.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

<33

It's here!

My lovely 52 inch reflector from Calumet.

http://www.calumetphoto.com/item/RM4052K/

I didn't realize how large, 52 actually is.

I'm 60 inches but yeah. haha.

IT'S HUGE. and collapsing it was hard.

but seriously, I'm so excited to use it.

I just need to find people to photograph.

If only my friends weren't so shy.

Read More 2 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

lack of...

I'm not getting as much sleep as I'd like.

It's either because I'm having a disturbing nightmare..

Someone is being rude and noisy in the morning... (i'm a very light sleeper)

or I'm stressed.

I'm applying for my University application in two weeks.

The nerves are killing me softly.

My eyes are bloodshot and my mind is wandering.

And boys are confusing me.

You'd figure if a guy flirts with you, at least he'd reply to you.

Hmm. If he wants me, he can talk to me.

I need to stop over reacting with him.

I don't know....

I'm question so many things, and it's literally tearing my mind apart.

Good to know that I can find peace in God.

My safe haven, to get away from it all.

To be restored is what I need.

And that is what I'll get.

but hey. LOOK A NEW PICTURE.

Ashleigh and I decided to go to the library for books.

No really, we did. Then, I saw booster juice.

So I finally checked out 'Secrets From the Vinyl Cafe,' so stoked to read it.

After... I was heading out but no.

Ashleigh lured me to the fireplace where we took pictures.

Yes, that was pointless but oh well.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

boys.

confuse me.

that is all.

Read More 2 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Book List

My goal for 2009 is to read 25 books. Here's a list of books that I want to read. I'll check them off once they are read. This isn't a full list, I know. These are books that I'm interested in reading, however a book is a book. The goal is 25, we'll see how far I go.

I'm open to suggestions, so feel free to comment.

BOOK WISH READING LIST

1) Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare

2) The London Prodigal by Shakespeare

3) Macbeth by Shakespeare

4) Othello by Shakespeare

5) East of Eden by John Steinbeck (recommended by Jennifer)

6) The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

7) Secrets From the Vinyl Cafe by Stuart Mclean

8) The Catcher In the Rye by J.D Salinger

9) 1984 by George Orwell

10) Beneath a Marble Sky by John Shors

11) Go Ask Alice by Anonymous (recommended by Melissa)

SERIES

I own them all, but never really read them.

11) 1 - Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery

12) 2 - Anne of Avonlea by Lucy Maud Montgomery

13) 3 - Anne of the Island by Lucy Maud Montgomery

14) 4 - Anne of Windy Poplars Lucy Maud Montgomery

15) 5 - Anne's House of Dreams by Lucy Maud Montgomery

16) 6 - Anne of Ingleside by Lucy Maud Montgomery

17) 7 - Rainbow Valley by Lucy Maud Montgomery

18) 8 - Rilla of Ingleside by Lucy Maud Montgomery

BOOKS I HAVE READ IN 2009

1) Queen Bees & Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Self Improvements

Today was just. wow.
warning: this will be long.

It all started at recess, one girl was standing in the hockey game. A bunch of huge guys were playing there, so I simply said, 'So-and-So you shouldn't be standing there.' She immediately blew up. I told her it was simply because I didn't want her to get hurt. These guys will hurt you... no joke. I've had experience. I still have bruises and scars from basketball games. Her attitude blew up, and I immediately apologized ad walked away before it blew up.

After school, we mentions it to the teacher as I'm walking by. I stop, and listen and say, 'I said sorry, why are you bringing it up?' Then the teacher brought us to sit and talk about what happened. It was a thirty minute conversation, that was just idk. I said sorry but she couldn't get over it. Then she brought up something that 'happened' five years ago. By the way, she's twelve right now. It was my karaoke machine, you can't jump near it cause it's extremely sensitive. Well, she jumped and it got screwed up. I told her, not to and she didn't listen. She brings it up and blames it all on me. Which is EFFING STUPID. WHY? CAUSE SHE WASN'T EVEN INVITED TO THAT PARTY. SO THUS, SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE. So she made it up on the spot, which really ticked me off. She was making false incidences that never really occurred. She brought up false stories and blamed it on me. I say things to her because I just don't want her to get hurt. She doesn't want that help.. fine. Get mulled over by three, 200 pound guys. That's not my problem.

But then I was coming to realize that it was much more than just an argument. After she left, my teacher and I had a conversation. It's much more, this is where I start to make a change. I'm growing up, responsibility is heavier and more evident now. I'm not just that mature 17 year-old, soon I'm an 'adult' and responsibility will have to be expected and not respected.

It takes two to tangle, but more than anything it's me that has to change. If people are unwilling to change, that gives me a higher responsibility. A responsibility to be that person, that the other is scared to be. When I think about it, I'm blessed. Blessed to have that opportunity to be the better person, the one who grows and learns from their experiences. I want to learn through experience, not what people tell me what from what I have learned. This is what's going to change me.

My teacher had a really good conversation with me. We're close, I see her as a friend more than a teacher. The conversation was good, and it really encouraged me to be the better person. In the long run, it will benefit me. Once I head into a serious relationship, I won't be oblivious but I'll live to learn to make both of our lives better. Together. Growing and experiencing to together. I hold that responsibility to be that type of girlfriend and wife. You want someone who tries to be a good person, rather than an asshole. I want to be that girl that guys are jealous of. I want to be the girl, that makes my guy proud.

When fights like this happen, I'm making changes so I can calm down and walk away. I want to be the better person. I want to control myself before things get out of hand. I don't want to be the aggressor. I've had it happen to me, and it's the worst feeling. I don't want to be responsible to cause someone that harm.

I guess this is apart of my New Years resolution. I know it's quite typical to put, 'To be a better person.' However, there's more to it. It involves everything in you, that you despise. For those are so arrogant and full of themselves, this is where faith steps in. God can only reveal this to you. He knows you, we don't know ourselves. Why? It's because we're so full of denial. God causes change. It's never too late either. When problems arise, if the other person is not making an effort. Just ask God to simply tell you what it is that you need to change. Regardless if the other person changes or not, you know that you're becoming a better person.

okay this is too long.

there are probably typos, forgive me.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

AHAHAHAHA

so hilarious.
the cover is better by miss may i
http://myspace.com/missmayi

but this video is just amazing.

WATCH IT!

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

keep voting!

Seeing Things in Black and White
Brickfish

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

argh.

i was having too much trouble with my new blog layout.

so i just moved it to a simple blogger template.

once i have the time and patience to fix the html, a new blog design will be up.

oh. power outage last night.

ruined my kylie wong's: my china marathon.

also. boys confuse me.

the ones i want, don't show a lot of interest.

it's mostly just joke flirting.

the ones i want to leave me alone, don't.

Read More 2 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

snowwww

i'm back. hahaha.

pictures from a walk in the snow yesterday.

also, i had blog issues.

everything was fine but the date for the blogs was labeled as 'undefined'.

so i went and changed the html and now i've lost the whole thing

EDIT:

um. the pictures where being very weird to work with.

they messed up the whole blog layout.

i'll repost them in a different blog.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

;askdfha

WHO IN THE WORLD HAS FIVE FREAKING FEET OF SNOW?

NO ONE.

EXCEPT US.

FREAKING CANADA.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

My Pop Playlist

I officially have no life, so I decided to make a pop playlist.

It reminds me of the my childhood to current songs that I secretly dance to.

I know not a lot of people read this, so thus I won't feel as embarrassed.

Coming from someone who listens to a lot of heavy music.... this is weird.

BUT I LOVE IT.

please don't hate it.

feel free to add suggestions though.

anything pop or dancey. bring it. :D

It's in alphabetical order...

- Potential Break-Up Song: Aly & AJ

- Walking on Sunshine: Aly & AJ

- Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It): Beyonce

- What About Us?: Brandy

- The Boy Is Mine: Brandy feat. Monicaa

OMGBRITNEYSPEARSLOLZ

- Sometimes: Britney Spears

- Circus: Britney Spears

- Crazy (Stop Remix): Britney Spears

- Do Something: Britney Spears

- Oops I Did It Again: Britney Spears

- Over Protected: Britney Spears

- Piece of Me: Britney Spears

- Stronger: Britney Spears

- Womanizer: Britney Spears

- Ridin': Chamillionaire

- Kiss Kiss: Chris Brown

- Ain't No Other Man: Christina Aguilera

- What A Girl Wants: Christina Aguilera

- Goodies: Ciara

- 1, 2 Step: Ciara

- Gotta Get Through This: Daniel Betingfield

- Say My Name: Destiny's Child

- Survivor: Destiny's Child

- Jumpin' Jumpin': Destiny's Child

- He Loves Me, He Loves You Not: Dream

- This Is Me: Dream

- Put Ur Hands Up: Family Force 5

- Earthquake: Family Force 5

- Back Off The Wall: Family Force 5

- Fergalicious: Fergie

- Low: Flo Rida

- Get Right: Jennifer Lopez

- Waiting for Tonight: Jennifer Lopez

- Rock Your Body: Justin Timberlake

- Sexy Back: Justin Timberlake

- I Think I Love You: Kaci

- Can't Get You Out Of My Head: Kylie Minogue

- Just Dance: Lady GaGa

- Do Not Disturb: Lets Get It

- Shoot For Teams: Lets Get It

- Duck Duck Grey Goose: Lets Get It

- Swing: Miss May I (okay, it's heavy but I love dancing to it)

- Hella Good: No Doubt

- It's My Life: No Doubt

- Just A Girl: No Doubt

- Bye Bye Bye: N'Sync

- Girlfriend (Remix): N'Sync

- It's Gonna Be Me: N'Sync

- Tearin' Up My Heart: N'Sync

- Liquid Dreams: O Town

- Don't Cha: The Pussycat Dolls

- Pon De Replay: Rihanna

- SOS: Rihanna

- Show My Love: Robyn

- Don't Stop Moving: S Club 7

- S Club Party: S Club 7

- Stop: Spice Girls

- Wannabe: Spice Girls

- No Scrubs - TLC

I HAVE NO LIFE.

ahahahahahahaaaaa.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Looking Back...

2008 has another year to test my character, to make me a better person.

It has changed me, most likely more than other years.

I've become a better person, and I hope 2009 brings that same opportunity.

I've lost friends, but in return gained some great ones.

I've learned more about myself, and I've learned the hard way.

Life is a journey and 2008 was a strong road.

I managed to get closer to friends, to forget the past and move on.

I've learned that there is more than appears at the surface.

2008 was a good year.

I've made a list of what is '2008' to me.

I bought my first DSLR, Andy.

I went to the first Vancouver show for The Devil Wears Prada.

I turned seventeen.

I learned that PC's SUCK and that MACS PWN.

I gave up on pathetic boys.

I got addicted to 'Friends' the TV show.

I realized that Brett Manning is seriously a god. hahahahaha. Thank you Brett.

2008 makes me want to go to Ohio.

I've had way too many inside jokes this year.

2008 has probably been the year with the most laughter.

STICKAM CHATS WITH OHIO BANDS. <3

I read 'Amazing Grace' which is about the life of William Wilberforce. This book has become my favourite book, other than the Bible. It was completely amazing, and I was speechless.

'Hamlet' is an incredible play. Shakespeare, you really impressed me this time.

'Saint Maybe' has probably one of the most incredible books I've ever read. It was amazing in every aspect, and I'll probably read it several times.

Music of 2008.

'Victims' by Akissforjersey. Zach Dawson has PIPES. The man can sing and this record is amazing. The vocals, arrangement, lyrics and music are just mind-blowing.

'Someday Came Suddenly' by Attack Attack! Such a good record... it has: catchy melodies, brutal breakdowns, a great dance beat and probably the best growls ever. I love this album.

'The End Is Not The End' by House of Heroes. This record was supposed to come out mid-summer but it came out in September. So worth the wait, the record really has variety and it's practically perfected. The band stepped away from their typical sound and did some amazing things. Sweet guys too.

LETS GET IT. LETS GET IT. LETS GET IT.

Okay, I love this band. Hahaha. They had their myspace June 4th and I've been amazed by their stuff since. I know big stuff is going to happen for them, no doubts. Plus their stickam chats, pwn. http://myspace.com/letsgetit

i'm done. i'll post more tonight.

hahahaha.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Sad day..

My uncle died this morning.

He can't breathe on his own, they're keeping him on life support.

Yet, nothing can be done.. he's dead.

I just got an email that my Italy trip is now cancelled.

I'm really pissed off, and sad.

I bought a dress for my 18th, which was going to be there.

Being home schooled, opportunities like this don't happen.

I'm missing out on a lot this year... thanks for the selfish attitudes of my pastor.

'we're saving you from public school,' his exact words.

Like honestly, it's not that bad.

What's worse is secluding a child from the world, trying to protecting when really all you are doing is setting them up for disaster. I'm not exposed to people, I have no people skills. I'm not supported whatsoever. My hopes and dreams can not happen simply because I don't know people. It's pathetic.

My grade 12 year is going to blow for the next six months.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Merry Christmas

Today was when salvation was born

Today was when hope was given to the world.

Today is HIS day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

p.s thanks for the snow.

sorry this isn't too insightful... i'm writing another blog tonight.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Pieces of Flair

Happy Moments, Praise God.

Difficult Moments, Seek God.

Quiet Moments, Worship God.

Painful Moments, Trust God.

Every Moment, Thank God.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Natahsha Priya

snow part 2

cause blogspot hates me.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Let It Snow....

PICTURES.

OMG.

SNOW.

2 FEET.

AHH.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Warmth

Coming home from church there was yet even more snow.

It continues to fall in all it's splendor and mystery.

Our cars are covered in this chilly blanket,

Hearts warm with care, anxiously brush away the flakes on the cars.

Laughter, shovels and 'good nights' fill the cold air.

Smiles beam out as we come together to help one another.

Regardless of the temperature, the hearts of the men and woman glow with warmth.

God has shown me, that indeed there is good.

Good that warms the soul and truly brings glory to His name.

Forget my earlier comments (previous blog).

A few people suck but not society as a whole.

There is some good in society, no need to look far either.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

slackerrrrr

I haven't been able to post much due to school, christmas plays and what not.

It's been a crazy few weeks. The play went reasonably well, the Christmas portraits turned out amazing and I made delicious sugar cookies. The weather is absolutely freezing, and I hate it.

I went to a Christmas 'dinner' last thing at a friends house.

It was fun, but it consisted mostly of my youth leaders who bonded.

So I just ate and ate.

And.... THEN IT STARTED TO SNOW.

We all rushed to the window like children, our faces filled with joy as we saw snow flakes drift onto a blanket of snow.

Snow just has that captivating power, to make even the most serious of souls be filled with joy as a child. It's amazing.

We have a lot of snow coming, more than I ever remembered.

We got about 7-8 inches at my house on Wednesday.

Last night it was about another 4-5ish.

Over today we're going to get about 4.

Tomorrow and Tuesday will bring about another 7.

Wednesday about 4 inches.

AND THEN IT'S GOING TO SNOW ON CHRISTMAS.

I've learned over the last weeks by being a nice guy (girl), you're a target.

You try to help, only to get stabbed back again.

I'm starting to dislike people, greatly.

p.s.. those cookies in the picture, i baked and shot.

and ate as well.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

People are...

....arrogant.

Get over yourself.

Think before you speak.

It hurts like a dagger that just stabbed into my heart.

that's all I have to say.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

nosebleeds.

....are dumb.

i had one 1-2 that lasted from 12:30 past 2.

and another just now.

at school i used a whole box of Kleenex's.

i feel dizzy. and this is my third one.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

It's been four straight years that near Christmas my voice gets damaged and my solo performances are destroyed.

So now, I have a sore throat and major congestion. AND IT SUCKS.

If you're sick, STAY HOME. It's pretty simple, so now I'm not feeling the best.

My vocal 'coaching' is on hold until I get better. Which ruins my 'sound really, really good for the concert night and blow everyone away' plan. I've been praying it away and it's not as bad. However, it seems that as my throat gets better, the congestion acts up and vise versa.

I know I'll get better just in time. :]

In the meantime, I'm not taking any cough or flu meds. I don't find them necessary.

I don't really want to talk to people anymore.

If you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all.

Some people I know, will go through complete heartbreak but will still be humble in grateful in God's name. These people, are people that I truly admire.

Jennifer, reading your blog... I see that. You're humble and grateful and you won't let the turmoils life throws at you... defeat you.

You're amazing.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

Lead Us Home

I haven’t blogged for about a month. It’s been a little awkward, cause I haven’t had anywhere to vent, contemplate or elaborate. Which is something I really need, I’m going to make an effort to blog just so I can get things off my chest, good or bad.

The past few weeks have had both ups and downs but mostly downs. So many times I’ve cried myself to sleep, and I just pretended to everyone that everything was fine. This is my biggest mistake, suffocating my emotional turmoil so it can cause greater damage to my heart.

Friends, I don’t have them…. Or maybe I do? I’m not really too sure. I have school/church friends (they are the same people), which I’ve known for my whole life. I consider them my family; this isn’t a serious friendship there, it’s mostly laugher. Then there are the other friends that I’m struggling with. I just wish I could have friends that would support me in the important aspects of my life. My dreams, my hopes, my fears and most importantly my faith; these are the places where I need support. No one has been helping, yes a little ‘oh tell me what happened’ and then they never reply. It’s all fine and dandy but it really isn’t caring. It’s being considerate for the moment but not really caring about the present situation. It hurts how I take my time out of my day to help friends and in return they stab me in the back. For some friend, I get calls for them past midnight, crying… yes I’m sleeping but I put that aside to be a friend. Why can’t anyone do that for me? It’s either… ‘Oh, I have something to do,’ or ‘Hmm, oh well.’ I want to be your friends, is it that difficult to return the favor? I have no one I can turn to, who can be serious and really care. It hurts more than you imagine, I can tell you that. I’m home schooled, I have no life, I don’t know much about anything and I’m awkward. I wonder why people can’t stand me, but honestly… why? Those aren’t legitimate answers.

I’m sick of crying. I’m sick of waiting for a true friend.

I’m holding onto patience, but my grip is slipping.

Read More 1 Comment | Posted by Natahsha Priya

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